How often is it that the one person standing in the way of our bliss happens to be ourselves?
Yes, you can be your own worst enemy. But you can learn to be your own best friend, too.
Here’s five ways I learned to love myself more and get my sh*t together big time (the two go hand in hand, you know).
Think before you act
There are times we really need to think before we act. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we can make choices that are not necessarily good or healthy or financially healthy for us.
Perhaps we get too excited and send an email that might not be the best move. Or make an extravagant purchase that is going to make it hard to take good care of ourselves the rest of the month. Or sign up for a membership we might not really use. Or give anyone our information. Or get too caught up in possessions instead of self-possession.
Listen to that inner voice and get in tune with it. It’s usually trying to speak to you right before you do something even slightly self-destructive. Before you speak angrily to a friend, before you get too uppity with your boss, before you make any move in anger, jest, or impulse, THINK. Will this action have negative repercussions that will bring negativity in or positivity in?
Choose a small circle of friends who love you, not a wide circle who could take or leave you.
I’ve come to realize having a lot of “friends” is not key to happiness. One or two fantastic friends? – crucial and healthy. Good friends really bring that positivity and warmth into your life that makes you thrive and blossom. That’s what you need. Not a big circle of friends that make you feel “popular.” With popularity, yes, you’re part of a crowd but also just another face in that big homogenous crowd. Be your unique, special self and celebrate that.
Ask yourself, “What is best for me?”
One of the biggest ways I would get in my own way when I was younger was in trying to do what everyone else was doing instead of what was necessarily good for me. That’s when I started journaling. To really get in touch with who I am – what I want. I highly recommend that and meditation or centering. Sit quietly with yourself and try to see the place you want to go in life then—how to get there.
Work smarter, not harder: how to do that
It’s not about how long you work, it’s how effectively you work while you’re working. In fact, putting a little thought into how to manage your time effectively can save you hours of work, leaving you more time for you and all the things you need to do to take care of yourself and stay truly happy. Let me tell you a few of my favorite strategies for getting more done in less time.
Learn what helps you work smarter not harder
Pay attention to days that you get a lot done and days you don’t. Make a mental note of what distracted you, what worked, what didn’t. Then, start seeing what is holding you back from getting a lot done more quickly. Then, you can use this information to strategize ways to work more effectively and eliminating distractions.
Try work “chunking”
There is a work harder not smarter strategy called “work popcorn” I learned about recently. This works especially well for people who have or like to take their work with them different places, like lunch, coffee shops, parks, libraries, etcetera.
If you have a day planned where you’ll be working on the go, write out a game plan for what to get done at each location, like this:
Morning at office: get all email checked, reorganize weekly calendar, make all phone calls to team members.
Afternoon lunch at coffee shop: Journal some ideas for the presentation, take notes for meeting this week.
Keep pictures of you and friends doing things you love around your workspaces
Sometimes, it helps to keep mementos or photos of your favorite things to do when you’re not working to remind you of why you need to focus, prioritize, and just get the job done swiftly. Pictures of you and your friends at the beach, amusement parks, or pictures of you and your significant other together will remind you why you need to work smarter so you can spend more time having fun and bonding with people you care about.
Try “I will, I won’t, I want.”
In her book Maximum Willpower, Professor Kelly McGonigal talks about three willpower habits that can help you organize your day and achieve what you want in life. Try applying these to working smarter and eliminating distractions. “I will get my email checked and responded to before I Google anything.” “I won’t get distracted socializing with friends at the coffee pot station.”
“I want to get done by 3 p.m. and go get a massage and a facial.”
This is my new favorite strategy and it really helps me get a lot done every day.
Find out your true purpose in life: Some tips on doing just that . . .
Life is far too short to have a job you hate, love. And there are just too many wonderful things to do out there for work and/or financial success that you will love. Don’t you deserve them. I don’t care if you use a book like What Color is Your Parachute, finding a good counselor, taking some online quizzes that help you find your perfect career, talking to your truest best friend to ask what he/she sees you doing and being happy in life – or spending some real quiet time to figure this out—you WERE MEANT to do something phenomenal on this Earth with YOUR unique talents. Sometimes it takes a circuitous journey to find that job – but you will find it if you keep searching your soul. I promise.
Do what you’re meant to do for ultimate bliss, love – ABOVE all things, this is the most important advice I have for getting your sh*t together.
Author: Vanessa White @OlanikeeOsi
Vanessa is the CEO & Founder of Goddess Detox, #SelfishBabe, author and self-love influencer.She is a self-love manifestor, teaching women around the world manifest self-love in their everyday lives. She wants women to selfishly and authentically love themselves. If you are interested in joining her women's empowerment movement called #SelfishBabe Click HERE to get her FREE Ebook to get you started in your own self love journey.You can find her on Instagram, Snapchat and Youtube under @OlanikeeOsi.