The word out there is that smart women have trouble finding love.
One article explains that this is because smart women “know they can be happy and alone.” Or “They know attraction is only half the battle” and “They’d rather be alone than with the wrong person.”
And all of these reasons are pretty right on target, I think.
But what about when you are tired of another night with your puppy, a chai latte, and the tv? What about when you want to find someone real—the one? What can you do to finally find your right “other half?”
So I put a lot of thought into this matter and came up with the keys, I believe for radiating that kind of positive energy that attracts the right kind of people you want into your sphere.
1.Make a list of things you love:
Literally anything can go on this list. For example, back rubs sweet potato fries, cute surprises, football, funny movies, Law and Order, going out for ice cream, going to the movies with your guy/gal, etc. Doing this brings the energy of love around you. And what you put out, I’ve found, tends to be what you attract to you as well.
2.Start taking time to love yourself:
Why? When you start to love yourself—really love yourself—Ms. Houston called this “The Greatest Love of All” for a reason (rest in peace, Diva with the voice of angels), you begin to build a better relationship with yourself. You know what you like and don’t like. While loving yourself you can do things for yourself that you want your future partner to do for you. Take the things from the things you love list and do those things. If you love massages then go get one. If you love finely decorated nails, you should have them. I firmly believe this.
3.Write out your list of what you would like in your ideal mate and affirm them:
Okay, now—from this list, pick 3 things that are necessary and important to you.
Now it is time to affirm them.
For example, let’s say you wrote down “He’s the type that’s faithful to a woman, no matter what.” Then, your affirmation would be:
i am sooo happy to have a partner in life who is faithful to me and our relationship. This brings me joy.
We create our reality through our words. So if you want a faithful mate, affirm this. Say it aloud and make it come true for you.
4.Write a different list. The I KNOW I don’t want this list:
If you know there are certain things you don’t want in a relationship, write these down. This list will serve as a reminder to you of the bullshit you will not stand for. So please if you are with someone who has what you don’t want on the list -- do yourself a favor and cut ‘em loose or you are simply wasting your time. If you’re on a date with them, and you suddenly find he displays one of these list qualities, just leave. No sale!
5.Get out of the house (lol):
You might like lavishing in your little castle – but your perfect mate is out there in the world and is not going to find you if you’re snuggled up on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy reruns.
Look at your list of things you love. If you wrote down some favorite places – say, the aquarium in town with the beautiful sea creatures, go there. Or, if poetry was on your list then go to a poetry reading spot. You’ll find a poet at that mike I bet you’ll really like because they love what you love.
Your ideal mate could be somewhere doing the very things you love to do, don’t you think, if they are PERFECT for you?
Comment below and let me know which one are you willing to try?
Author: Vanessa White @OlanikeeOsi
Vanessa is the CEO & Founder of Goddess Detox, author and self-love influencer.She likes to call herself a self-love manifestor, teaching women around the world manifest self-love in their everyday lives. She wants women to selfishly and authentically love themselves. If you are just now starting your self-love journey, check out her 5 Step Self-Love Ritual E-Guide here. You can follow her on Instagram, Youtube and Snapchat @OlanikeeOsi. Check out her latest book "The Power of Looking at Your Yoni" here.